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Not even in the privacy of your own mind? Lauralae. You deserve to be happy, too.

[ if he should be allowed, a dragon herself is more than deserving. ]

For what it's worth, I do not think less of you for your actions. The game made fools of us all. If there is shame to be felt, it is not on our part.

it has been a long time since the notion of happiness had come to me. i am learning better of it, here.

i was at the mercy of the game. i know that. but i would still regret the path my instincts took me.

You value life. That is an admirable quality in many. I myself do not always have it.

Why do you deprive yourself, Lauralae? Even here, where people are unfettered from the laws of our homes? If I should be permitted, why not you as well?

the things that i wish for are beyond even what you would permit yourself, aemond dragon rider.

Will you not tell me? What is so terrifying about your wants that you would not speak of it?

did you see what i did to those i killed in the game?

I have. And you feel guilt about it, do you not? Do you claim to have killed them willingly?

Compulsion does not absolve you of murder, I would agree with you, but you cannot undo what has been done. Why linger?

because i wish for it again. the taste of it. the feeling of it.

As do I. Every day I long to carry steel and walk into the battlefield. Every day I long to return to war, to kill mine enemies and rid the kingdom of their stain. To burn the lands and purify them of her.

Why would you deny yourself that want? Because others might fear you?

They are ants under your feet, Lauralae.

you wish to kill those who threaten your family. to remove them from the land.
i would remove their bodies. i would do all that i might to give in to mine own urges, but i fight them all the same.
it seems cruel, in this place, to want such things.

You would remove their bodies, how?

[ he has wondered and often what kinds of darkness flows through lauralae's veins that she hides from the rest of the guests. not just the shapechanging, or the burning touch, or her skill in taking life — though what aemond does know he has a deep fondness for.

tell me what else is on your mind, little dragon. my dragoness. ]

How can you control your urges if you refuse to accept them? They will always haunt you otherwise.

Tell your wants to me. Let me help.

magic is one means.

[ But that isn't what he is angling at. That isn't what she means either, but there is something enticing about it - something about wanting to trust him, to lean into him. She had spoken to Alia about how to earn this man's favour, a sweetness in her unfolding in his direction, and - and.

She wonders. She wonders. ]

i ate grace. part of her. i tried to eat matthew. i ate francesca's heart. i would do it again.

You eat of flesh. That is your desire.

[ as a dragon might devour hordes and cattle and men both, she devours man. why does this not scare him? why does this excite him instead, gets his pulse to quicken? ]

What stays your hand from doing so?

yes. it consumes me.

[ As a wolf might hunt prey. As a monster might consume what is before them. ]

it is unacceptable. it is not the right thing to do.

Who says so? Who decides what is right and what is not? You are a dragon. Why let the sheep tell you what to do?

[ wolf or dragon or some other beast — humans would sooner cage them, or tame them, or kill them worse for not caving to their mundane demands. why should the weak dictate for the powerful? ]

You should not fear yourself. That is ruining who you are, and you are already more beautiful than anyone can comprehend.

are there now laws? rules to the realm? spoken and unspoken both?

[ It's starting to confuse her, all the people who seem to support these base, dangerous desires. ]

you think me beautiful?

I do not think it. I know it. And should the laws confuse or torment you — rise above them. Take into your hands your own rule and never let anyone else question you again.

You are a dragon, Lauralae. Zaldrizives. You and I have a greater call than what pettish smallfolk have claim to.

tell me what calls to you, draushum gra'kul. tell me what your call is. i want to know.

To set the world on fire. That is what I want. I wish for the realm to bend the knee to me and only, and to fear me.

[ it is freeing, the truth. to give life to what has been growing unimpeded within. ]

i would. i would bend to you, aemond, if you asked it of me.

[ aemond's breath catches high in his throat and colour floods through him. ]

You need not bend the knee, Lauralae. Stand by my side instead.

Edited 2024-12-01 14:51 (UTC)

[ She has come to understand the alternative meaning to her words, and she thinks - would she? How would she bend for this man?

In any way that he might ask it of her, she thinks. She would bend her knee, and she would please him, as he has pleased her by simply speaking to her so kindly. ]

i would. gladly. you are a true dragon, and it would be a gift to stand beside you, in any shape.

When we next meet, my little dragon, would you allow to be daring?

[ he wants — to touch her. allow her pain to run through him again, and perhaps he could give her something of himself in turn.

she gives him a gift so priceless it takes his breath away. ]

you may be as daring as you please, aemond. please, be daring with me.

I intend to kiss you when I see you again. Please don't think me so forward, but I would like to know the taste of mouth on mine, if you would have me.

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